SNL Transcripts: Phil Hartman: 11/23/96


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 22: Episode 7

This free script provided by]]>

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

November 23rd, 1996

Phil Hartman



Cliff Robertson

Rodney Dangerfield

Andy Murphy
O.J. TV Trial ReenactmentSummary: O.J. Simpson (Tim Meadows) causes shenanigans while being cross-exained in his latest trial.

Recurring Characters: O.J. Simpson.


Phil Hartman’s MonologueSummary: Phil Hartman discusses his many endorsement deals.


Lux 420SLSummary: Cliff Robertson endorses the car for crazy people.


House of CongressSummary: M-TV VJ Kincaid (Ana Gasteyer) rambles television nostolgia with Jesse Helms (Darrell Hammond).

Recurring Characters: Kincaid, Jesse Helms, Ted Kennedy.

TV FunhouseSummary: In a cartoon by Rob Smigel, a ga-ga Michael Jackson makes a play for little boys.


NEA Thanksgiving SongsSummary: Members of the National Endowment for the Arts endure a series of Thanksgiving song auditions.

Recurring Characters: Cinder Calhoun.

The Joe Pesci ShowSummary: Joe Pesci (Jim Breuer) and Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman) give Michael Jackson (Tim Meadows) a hard time.

Recurring Characters: Joe Pesci, Frank Sinatra, Michael Jackson, Debbie Rowe.


Weekend Update with Norm MacDonaldSummary: Rodney Dangerfield comments on what it’s like to be 75 years-old.

Bush performs “Swallowed”

The Gossip ShowSummary: Hyper Julie Brown (Cheri Oteri) lets loose with government secrets.

Recurring Characters: Julie Brown, Liz Smith, Michael Musto.

Acting WorkshopSummary: Acting teacher Bobby Colsman (Phil Hartman) continues to verbally abuse his acting students while name-dropping his D-List celebrity friends.

Recurring Characters: Bobby Colsman, Troy, Brian Kelly.

Bush performs “Insect Kin”

Soldiers Not Coming BackSummary: World War II general (Phil Hartman) tells his soldiers that most of them won’t be coming back.


FroongaSummary: The stacking wine glasses game is just the latest amusement from the dangerous Grelco product line.



SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments