SNL Transcripts: Buck Henry: 10/30/76: Land Shark


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 6

76f: Buck Henry / The Band

Land Shark

Woman…..Gilda Radner
Land Shark…..Chevy Chase

[ open on interior, Woman’s Apartment, 2:00 a.m. ] [ doorbell rings ]

Woman: Who is it?

Voice At Door: [ drawn-out pause ] Uh.. trick or treat?

Woman: [ gets up and walks cautiously to the door ] Look, it’stwo o’clock in the morning. Halloween’s over! Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?

Voice At Door: [ stuttering ] Mrs. Bar- Barsen- Bargen- Barsen..?

Woman: There is no Mrs. Bargenbarson here!

Voice At Door: [ pause ] Candy-Gram?

Woman: Look, I’m all out of candy! I gave it all away! Now, go home!

Voice At Door: UNI- UNICEF, ma’am?

Woman: UNICEF?

Voice At Door: UNICEF.

Woman: Well, that’s different..

[ Woman grabs her purse and opens the door – as she does, the Land Shark peers in, gobbles her up and drags her into the hall. ] [ Land Shark re-enters the apartment, and stares at the camera. Suddenly, Chevy Chase pokes his head and arm out of the mouth ]

Chevy Chase: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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