SNL Transcripts: George Carlin: 10/11/75: Triopenin


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 1

75a: George Carlin / Billy Preston, Janis Ian


Written by: Tom Schiller

Announcer …
Hands … Chevy Chase

[Close-up of spotlit hands on a black background.]

Announcer V/O: Arthritis in the adult is painful,lonely, and sometimes difficult to manage.

[The sore, aching hands massage one another’s joints.]

Arthritis is particularly annoying when coupled withneuralgia and severe muscular tension. Abrupt weatherchanges can add discomfort.

[Flashing red lights indicate soreness and pain in thehands.]

Inflamed tissues can cause local swelling, calling forspecial relief.

[A medicine bottle magically appears between thehands.]

Triopenin, [pronounced: TRY OPENIN’] a compound ofpowerful anti-arthritic spantials and antihistamines,speeds soothing relief where needed.

[The hands try unsuccessfully to unscrew the bottle’stop.]

Triopenin is gentle, non-habit-forming, aids insoothing muscles and liberating stiff, painful joints.

[The hands pound on the bottle top and then try to pryit off, to no avail.]

Soon, you’re handling life again, feeling better, andgetting a firm grasp on the situation.

[Dissolve to a graphic that reads TRIOPENIN with aphoto of two bottles — one of them shattered, thepink pills spilled across a blue background.]

Triopenin — get your hands working again. Now withthe new childproof safety cap.


Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments